In Dark of Light, In Light of Dark
by Orange Smoke
Summary: Noin/Zechs ///Chapter 2 - - This Is How I Fill Your Spaces/// Noin finds her destiny! Bravo!
1. How did you know my name?

Disclaimer: It's mine! Mine! All MINE! Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Kangaroo: We don't own Gundam Wing. All references or similarities to other people or objects you may know personally are purely coincidental. We are making no profit off this endeavor. *cough*LikeWeCould*cough*

OrangeSmoke: Lies! All lies! I own it all and I'm making millions, I tell you, MILLIONS!

K: Of what?

OS: ///-paying no attention-/// Eiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! My brain hurts. Geeee.

K: Calm yourself, your audience won't respect you if you keep this up. *smiles at readers* Nice to meet you. I'm Orange Smoke's new muse. 

OS: Hmph . . . other people have muses, so why can't I?

K: She was jealous.

OS: WAS NOT! . . . okay, maybe I was, but just a little. And anyway, I'm an author too! I reserve the right of the authoress to lose her mind and refer to imaginary muses for writing purposes!

K: Your rambling.

OS: On with the show!

  
  
  
  


In dark of light, in light of dark

Prequal(is that a word?) to Duo's Trouble with Tree's :)

Chapter 1 - - How did you know my name?

  
  
  
  
  
  


///Flashback

"Noin, I-"

"Just shut-up Zechs! I'm so sick of this all, it's like an endless dance with the same steps over and over and over. 'Oh, Noin . . . I'm so very sorry. I'm afraid I've fallen out of love with you.' And then two months later your back again all, 'Oh, Noin . . . I've been so wrong. I do love you, Noin, I do love you.' Well I'm not-"

"HA! I got you this time, I never say I love you twice in one sentence."

"I can't take this anymore. I'm leaving. Don't bother coming back this time Zechs, if you don't love me, that's fine. Goodbye."

"Oh, yeah? And where are you going to go? I've got news for you Noin! No one wants you but me! Not Relena, not Hilde, not Dorothy, not Sally, not Catherine, not even Lady Une! No one but me, and even I don't want you anymore!"

Blinded by rage and hurt, she ran through the house, slamming the door behind her.

"Don't you run out on me Noin!"Zechs shouted, the whole house shaking with it's ferocity.

"Your running out on me! And anyway, I survived without you throughout most of the war Zechs! I can do it in this time of peace!"

End Flashback///

  
  


Sighing dramatically at the terrible memory, still fresh after three weeks, Lucretzia Noin continued her trek down the busy sidewalk, pausing once and again to gaze listlessly through a shop window. Wincing at the sound of a fire engine, blaring it's horn while making its way down the narrow avenue, she quickly ducked through the door of a nearby shop which promptly dusted her with cobwebs and dirt. Turning to glare at the offending door, she backed into a small end-table, knocking off a small treasure. Smiling grimly, she replaced the pieces and glanced about the room.

Just my luck. She thought cynically to herself. She had to choose the oldest, dirtiest shop in the world to jump into. Jeeze! She exclaimed silently, it doesn't even have a cash register. Looking about more closely now she saw that it was an antique shop, made up of one small room stuffed to the brim with furniture and various trinkets that catch the eye.

Slowly, she made her way over to the counter and leaned over it slightly.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Her voice echoed back to her from the dank, shadowed hallway behind the counter. "The sign on the door says your open . . ." she said, letting her words trail off into silence.

She waited a moment more than turned to leave, feeling a little guilty about wanting to leave so soon without making any purchases. Then she stopped. Something creaked . . . and again. Noin whirled around ready to fight and stopped. She came face-to-face, or rather stomach to face with a tiny old man. He only looked about three ft. tall. He had thick, yellowed eyeglasses and thin, wispy, silver hair. His skin had lost almost all its elasticity over the years and it hung on his rail thin form like an empty bag. In fact, Noin almost smiled to think that Dorothy would say that he looked like a midget version of Ichabod Crane. 

The old man smiled and reached out a trembling thin arm, taking her hand into his own and shaking it gently,

"Welcome!" he said in an amazingly robust voice for a man of his apparent, for some reason Noin felt he was something other than he pretended to be, age, "I have so few visitors these days , I get excited when someone comes in just to browse. I know exactly what your looking for. Now if you'll just wait here a moment, I'll be right back with your box."

"I wanted a box?" Noin asked under her breath.

Leaning a hip against the counter top, she looked back into the hallway. The man hobbled closer into view and she gasped when she saw the box. It was almost an exact replica of the one she had found on her doorstep four years earlier. It had been the first New Years after the Marimeia incident.

  
  


///Flashback

"Your party is wonderful Relena. You always host the most glamorous events." Noin said conversationally.

"So Zechs has left you again." Heero Yuy stated in his monotone voice.

"I didn't say that,"

"You never compliment Relena's parties because you hate social events and you still haven't explained why Relena's own brother has not shown up for her New Year's party." 

Heero was too observant for his own good, Noin thought to herself.

"Odd that he left so soon. After you started your new life." Relena Darlain-Peacecraft and soon to be Yuy added, " He needs time to heal, you know. He still needs to find his place in this new time of peace. After fighting just to survive all his life, he needs to adjust."

"Strange that your so quick to forgive him," Noin had said loftily, "When Heero took off for a few months, I remember you went bezerk."

Both women grinning at Heero's slightly blushing, yet expressionless face, Relena retorted, "Oh, yeah? Well, at least I went after him, dragged him back kicking and screaming, and forced him into submission."

Laughing now, Noin grinned even wider, "I wonder what your brother would do If I tried to force him into submission.(AN: Maybe I could borrow Lady Scarlett-Une's Posession. Mwahahahaha)"

Turning on his heel, Heero left the laughing pair and went to the balcony to look out into the night. Giggling harder at Heero's discomfort, Noin drew a deep breath to steady herself. 

"I guess I'd better be going. It is getting late."

"I'll talk to you soon Noin." Relena said her happy expression and giggles now gone, replaced with genuine concern. "Let me know if you hear from Zechs. That brother of mine needs a stern talking to."

"Yes, I'm sure if you write him a strongly worded letter and force him to be your bodyguard for the rest of the year and listen to all your boring speeches and go to your boring peace-talk meetings, he'll come to his senses and marry me."

"Hey, those speeches do good things for your position with the Preventors. Anyway, I'm sure." Relena said a sympathetic and understanding smile gracing her lovely face. "Goodnight, Noin."

"Goodnight, Relena," Noin responded.

There had been something special about that night. It was like it was message to her that things would never be the same. Nonetheless, Noin treated it like any other night, blaming the odd sensations as leftovers from the terrors experienced during the war. She too had wounds that needed time to heal. 

Strolling up the custom flagstone walk of her Victorian style house, she paused at her doorstep to get her keys and looked down when her foot hit something. There was a small box on her doorstep, made of wood so pale it was almost white. It had ornate carvings all over it and the clasp and hinges looked and felt like solid gold. Frowning slightly in confusion she took the exquisite box inside and set it on her kitchen table before going up to take a shower. 

She had forgotten about the box until around 3 a.m., in the middle of the night. She had woken up with a start, filled with anxiety and dread. Her head whipped about, looking for the object of her absolute terror. Petrified out of her mind, she raced downstairs and grabbed the box she suddenly felt the urge to protect. Turning, she had just started up the stairs when she heard the first growling behind her. Frightened and on the verge of hysterics, she thought desperately to herself, I must protect the light box. At all costs, I must protect the light box.

Not even bothering to look behind her, she raced up the stairs, the menacing hissing and growling tearing after her. She dived onto the bed and hid the box. Sitting on the light box under the blankets, she reached under her bed for her revolver and quickly yanked her hand back in pain. Looking at her hand and her gun, she saw four long, deep, bloody scratches. Upon closer examination, she realized that where the marks ended on her hand, they continued in grooves onto the metal handle of the weapon. The growling grew louder, and more horrifying than before. She even heard some from beneath her bed.

Clutching the gun in her two hands and screaming in terror, she cried out, "Show yourself, dammit, or I'll blow you off the face of earth!"

Slowly, oh so slowly, the door creaked open. Then dozens and dozens of pure white and pure black cats with red glowing eyes came streaming into the room all around her. The biggest one, a big black cat with white whiskers, ears, and tail, crawled out from under her bed and jumped up onto the mattress, its milky, dead eyes staring straight through her. 

"Give me the box." 

No one had said it aloud. It was in her mind. The cat was speaking directly into her mind! Oh, God . . . she thought, I'm so screwed.

"That's right you are, now Give Me THE BOX!"

"You . . . you can read my mind . . ."

"You can read mine. The box or your life. Decide. NOW!"

Suddenly, it felt as if something snapped inside her.

"NO! You won't take it from me, NOOOO!" she screamed, her voice tearing out of her throat like a flaming saber. Purple mist danced in the air. The louder she screamed, the more it appeared. The cats screams echoed inside her head as the mist ate away at them like acid, rotting away their skin, muscle and bone until there was nothing left but the suffocating darkness, the silent terror of the experience, and the echoes of the cats last thoughts resounding inside her head.

"You will pay. The box will soon be ours."

Noin lay awake until dawn. Then she finally slept.

Strange that she only now remembered that. She had woken the next morning hugging the box to her chest in a death grip. Downstairs, she had found Zechs in the kitchen, drinking hot, freshly brewed coffee, reading the news paper, and generally acting like he'd never left. Smiling, she had crept up behind him and, putting her arms around his waist, she laid her head against his back.

"I will always be waiting for you to come home to me. I love you Zechs."

End Flashback///

  
  


Shaking her head to clear her mind of memories, she ran her hand over the smooth surface of the dark box before her. It was warm to her touch and she stroked it gently as if it were a living thing.

"That looks just like mine, except mine is pale. Almost white and this one is so dark, it's almost black." Noin said studying the almost identical box.

"Yes." The old man smiled, "and the light box's grain flows from the back to the front, while the dark box's grain flows left to right."

"Give me the box," Noin said as easily as one would when asking someone to pass the salt.

"Now, you know I can't do that," he reproved her gently. "First, you must show me the light box. Then I will give you the dark box."

"Why?" She asked skeptically, beginning to wonder if he was her guide after all. 

"Why?" he echoed incredulously, "So I know you're the One. That's why." 

"Is my word not good enough for you?" Noin asked him quietly.

"So you admit it? You are the One?"

"Yes."

"It is dangerous to have two boxes. A novice like yourself cannot control the power of both boxes yet, it is difficult enough to control the powers of one box. First you must master the light box, then the dark, and finally, both. I will hold on to the dark until such a time as you can control it."

Glaring at the old man for his lack of faith in her, the One, Noin wondered. In here, now, she knew that all her terrifying nightmares of protecting the valuable light box had not been nightmares at all, but actual experiences. She wondered if after she left the shop she would not recall this as fact either, but maybe as a hallucination.

"I have used the lone power of the light box many times. The purple mist always comes to my aid when I call it." She stated softly.

"I know. I have sensed it, but I said you must master it so it can protect you and the dark box when you need it. The red fog of the dark box will not come to you until you completely master the purple mist from the light box and its transportation powers. After such a time has passed, You will master the red fog and its time properties. Finally, you will become Lord of the Light and Dark when you master their combined forces, the orange smoke(AN: hee, hee), the green vapor, and the transfiguration of both you and the boxes. Bring me the light box. I will explain further then. Now, go Lucretzia. Bring me the light box and say goodbye to your friends. You may not see them for a while."

"Yes. My destiny awaits as the One. Goodbye, old man. I will be back in a week . . . and old man? Call me Noin."

With that, she turned and walked out the door. Outside in the hot summertime city's downtown, she whirled around.

"How did you know my name?" she shouted at the brick wall. Brick wall? Wasn't there a shop there a few moments ago? Wasn't she just in there? 

"Oh, jeeze . . . I'm hallucinating again." Now, she strode down the sidewalk with a sense of purpose. She was going home to get her box. She didn't know why she wanted the box, but it didn't matter. She felt compelled to get it, so she left to do so.

***

Orange Smoke: Yeah! It feels good to have written again. I haven't written in so long!

Kangaroo: She's lying. She just kept throwing everything away before she finished six pages of the rough draft.

OS: *trips Kangaroo* Oops! Did you fall? Oh, pobresito.

K: grumble

OS: Any way, you like? You no like? THROW ME A BONE HERE!

. . .

Sorry, I'm cool, collected and not angry. I'm cool, collected and not angry. I'm cool, collected and not angry. MOVING ON!

K: I wish.

OS: what?

K: nothing.

OS: No one asked for how Noin and Zechs got where they were in Duo's trouble with trees so screw you all!

Kidding.

Actually, I'm going to rewrite that and incorporate it into this story later on. If I ever get that far. Hee, hee.

So, this is the beginning of how everyone got where they are and you'll all understand someday if I ever finish. That was long and boring to read, but I want you to know if you did. I appreciate it.

K: She's not kidding. Everyday she reads her reviews to make her feel better about herself.

OS: ALL LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. This Is The Way I Fill Your Spaces

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Empty Spaces by Fuel, though in sense I do own Empty Spaces by Fuel because I have their CD Something Like Human and the song is on there. It really is a great CD and it's even cooler because since I own their CD, I, in a sense, own their songs! In that case, this disclaimer wasn't really needed for the song, or was it? Dun, dun, dun.

  
  


Kangaroo: Your rambling.

Orange Smoke: Again?

K: Yes. I'm sorry.

OS: *sigh* So am I.

K: . . . ?

OS: Anyway, if you love Rock and Heavy Metal like I do, even if you just like alternative rock, Fuel is for you and I totally recommend buying their more recent CD Something Like Human. It's their best one yet. Especially considering they've only made two albums so far. :)

K: You do so much illegal promoting. I ought to turn you in.

OS: You love me too much.

K: No. No, I don't.

  
  


In Dark of Light, In Light of Dark

Chapter 2 - - This is the way I fill your spaces

  
  
  
  


The second Noin opened the door, she regretted it. She was assailed with doubts, memories, and a very strong urge to not leave at all. Pushing away the niggling thoughts, she walked into her bedroom and closed the door. She could barely hear Zechs in the shower over the CD player, which was currently blaring some intense and extremely loud Fuel. She loved their music and closed her eyes to sink into herself and let everything fade into the strains of the guitar and the steady pounding of the drums. "Mister could you maybe lend a hand,

To help a drowning, starving, soulless man,"

Shuddering at the coming conflict, she sat on the edge of her bed for a moment to collect herself. Opening her eyes, she looked around her room. Grinning wryly, Noin realized that she didn't even recognize the room as theirs, even though they shared it whenever he came home.

"Whose eyes are blind and feelings all but numb,

Whose ears are all so deaf and mouth is dumb."

Listening to the lyrics surrounding the room, she realized that she felt like she was drowning when she was with Zechs. His wounds from the war may never heal. He doesn't see me as his love yet, she said to herself, he sees me as a temporary balm to soothe his pain, but then, sometimes he doesn't see me at all. I am so blind. 

"This is the way,

Is the way,

I fill your spaces now,"She lay back and stared at her ceiling, a mosaic of black, smooth and shiny volcanic rocks that she and Zechs had picked up on vacation once. She remembered how she had painstakingly gathered hundreds of them and put them on her ceiling to resemble space. She and Zechs had even bought some cut glass to serve as the stars. She loved her room, but it really was her room, not theirs. It would never be Zech's. He had too many empty spaces. He didn't really own anything, didn't really belong anywhere.

"It's the way,

It's the way,

Cause all that's been left for me,

Is to fight to fill these spaces now."

She had been fighting her whole life for him to realize that he loves her and he can't live without her. Sometimes she had fought and prayed and she had tried, so hard, to fill his empty spaces. But she hadn't. She couldn't. She felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. The truth was such a brutal thing. To realize that you'll never succeed in making someone understand that you love them and they love you, even though you know they love you, even though they know, deep down, that they love you, is a terrible thing.

"Night is day and day is night again,

And all that's eating bites with toothy grins,"Every day was the same. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Wake up, go to work, go home, sleep. She had fallen in a rut, and the only way out was to leave. She would get her things and go back to her little hallucinations. She would let herself be swept away into her own mind and if she was going crazy, she didn't care. She was beginning to think that this was the only way to keep from going crazy. There really, just wasn't anything to stay here for anymore anyway, but still, maybe in her dreams he would love her. Maybe in her dreams he would see the light.

"The pages of my memory torn in twain,

Where reconstructing lies could not contain."

Getting up, she crossed to her antique armoire. She ran her hand across it and thought back to her birthday when Relena and Hilde had gotten it for her. Grinning, she thought about how they had struggled with it to get it up the stairs, thinking she wasn't home, only to have Noin attack them, thinking they were intruders. She opened a drawer and looked down at her lovely collection of various types of weapons and torture tools. Gifts from the Gundam Five. Her eyes began to fill with tears of memories as she took out her tools of destruction and thought back to when she received each one. She especially paused over the ones that had saved her life. 

"This is the way,

Is the way,

I fill your spaces now,"

God, she loved fuel. It was like the words they sang were being pulled right from her heart. It was like they were singing about her life. 

"It's the way,

It's the way,

Cause all that's been left for me,

Is to fight to fill these empty spaces now."

Turning back to her collection of things, she opened another drawer and looked at her collection of things from her girl-friends. She picked up each item, impressing their exact image into her mind. She lingered over her rose pendent from Lady Une. She hovered over her small clown collection from Catherine. She grinned at her lovely portraits from Dorothy, who had recently taken up painting. She sighed over her instructional book on her old Taurus suit from Sally Po. She laughed at her different odds and ends and she cried over her more sentimental gifts. She knew she may never see any of them again. Not her things, or her friends, who had given them to her. Not even Zechs.

"Now,"

She thought about Zechs and how she had tried to fill his empty spaces. Her love hadn't been enough. The holes in his heart were to vast for her mere love to fill, she said to herself bitterly. 

"Now,"

Sighing once more, she closed up her drawers and got out two changes of her most comfortable combat clothes. She selected her favorite weapons and placed them inside, keeping her bag light. Rising, from her chair, she tip-toed quietly into the bathroom where Zechs was taking a shower. She removed a few necessary toiletries she couldn't live without and crept back out again.

"This is the way,

Is the way,

I fill your spaces now,"

Bending over, she picked up her travel bag and filled it with her things and a small supply of non-perishable foods. She even packed a small canister of water, just in case. Finally, she wrapped the light box in her clothes to keep it safe and places it at the bottom of her bag. When she was all packed, she threw her bag in her car and went back inside to say goodbye to Zechs.

"This is the way,

Is the way,

I fill your spaces now,"

He had just gotten out of the shower when she walked in.

"Noin? Is that you?" Spinning around, Zechs charged Noin and glomped her. "I thought you were gone forever! I'm usually the one to leave, not you leaving me, oh, I love you! I love you! I love you!"

"Zechs . . . !"

"Yes Noin, my love?"

"AIR . . . !"

"Oops," Climbing off her, Zechs helped Noin to her feet. Gazing into her eyes, he started, "Noin, I-"

"Zechs, I-"

Smiling, he said, "You go first."

"Towel."

"Huh? . . . Oh," looking down, Zechs Marquise blushed. "Heh, heh. I'd better go get dressed, right?"

"Yeah," turning, he began to walk away. "And Zechs?" she added.

"Yes Noin?"

Looking pointedly downward on his body, she said, "I'm happy to see you too." 

Grinning, he walked back into the bathroom to get his clothes. Noin smiled and lay back down on her bed. Yawning, she closed her eyes, just for a minute, and fell asleep.

She awoke two hours later. She lay there, watching Zechs as he brushed his long platinum hair.

"Maybe I should braid it like Duo," he said to himself, thinking how convenient it would be to have it out of his face.

"I kinda like it better down," Noin said sleepily.

"Like your opinion matters," he joked softly, not turning around. Noin watched him through the mirror for a moment, then pulled herself upright.

"Zechs, I'm leaving."

"I already went to the grocery store. I got everything on the list."

"No Zechs, I'm leaving. And this time, I'm not coming back."

"What?"

It nearly broke her heart to see him standing there with a hairbrush in his hand, looking so confused. "I need to find my purpose in life, my destiny, and I can't if I stay here the rest of my life."

"What do you mean your destiny? Haven't you already fulfilled your destiny? Wasn't saving countless lives in the Eve wars and in the Marimeia incident enough? Can't you be content with saving the Universe?" he demanded, raising his voice higher with every sentence.

"Can't you?" she shot back.

Glowering at her in sudden anger, "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, so you can run away to 'find yourself' and to 'heal' but I can't get away to save myself from the brink of insanity?"

"Dammit Noin, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your empty spaces Zechs! I have tried and tried to fill them with my love and I have fought to keep you safe and to heal you with my love but obviously, I'm not enough. You need more than I can give you. I need more than you can give me. I'm not meant to sit around and wait for you to decide when the hell you want to come and visit your damned girlfriend! Or am I not even that? Am I even your lover anymore Zechs?" She screamed at him, rage blinding her. Then it hit her. It wasn't that he couldn't, or rather, hadn't realized his love for her, it was that he didn't love her at all. Even though she had vowed to never leave him, even though her heart would never leave him till the day she died, he really didn't love her. God, how could she have been so stupid. He loved her attention. He loved having someone to come home to. He loved having a mind all to his own to screw with, but he didn't love her.

"Oh, Zechs," she moaned, her voice barely above a whisper, "How could you?"

"This is the way,

Is the way,

I fill your spaces now,"

Fighting down the sob that rose in her throat, she turned heel and, for the second time that week, Noin fled her own house. By the time she reached the hallway, tears were stinging the backs of her eyes. By the time she reached the stairs, her hot tears overflowed onto her cheeks. By the time she reached the door, she was nearly overcome with doubts, and fears, and the wish that she didn't know. That everything would just go back to the way it was before she found the box and had all these terrible truths opened to her eyes. She wished for his love, knowing wishes never came true.

"It's the way,

It's the way,

I fill your spaces now,"

She glanced back once, right before she closed the front door, to see him standing at the top of the stairs. A look of confusion and hurt marring his beautiful features. The fool, she thought bitterly to herself. 

"It's the way,

It's the way,

Cause all that's been left for me ,

Is to fight to fill these empty spaces now."

As she shut the door and climbed into her car, she heard his bare feet pounding down the wooden steps of their beautiful home. She didn't look back when he came out to the porch. She didn't look back until she was a good thirty miles down the road. Then she pulled her car to the shoulder of the road.

"Now,"

  
  


///Flashback

"Are you sure you want to come with me Noin?" Zechs asked, looking over to her.

"Zechs," she sighed, closing her eyes, "Don't make me repeat myself. Again."

End Flashback///

"Empty spaces,"

"Oh, Zechs . . ." Gripping the wheel of the car, she put her head on her hands and wept.

"Empty spaces."

***

  
  


OS: Man, I feel good!

K: God, that was so, sad!

OS: Are you okay?

K: Wahahahahahahahahaha!

OS: Did you like it that much?

K: You bastard! Wahahaha . . . Poor Noin. *sob*

OS: ///glowing with joy/// Awwwww, that's so nice! ///dancing off in her own world///

K: ///turns to readers/// Hey, in this family, you suck up, you eat.

OS: What was that Kangaroo?

K: Uh . . . Wahahaha?

OS: *grin*

K: ;-)

  
  



End file.
